I like to do one thing that terrifies me every day. So I’ve been writing since I was so young that my mom would write the words and I would just color the page. Now, despite almost 3 decades of experience, I’ve spent YEARS terrified of publishing writing that matters.
Take a breath and get ready to settle in for a couple minutes to read something from the heart. Or just leave now, that’s cool too. It’s long. I know. We’ll just get that out in the open now.
So now, July 11, 2017 – and of course I had to google the date because my brain is trying to do anything but write this post and did you know it’s Alessia Cara’s birthday per wikipedia? I like her music so we will probably find out more about her later – anyway, so today I’m going to write this post and obsess over it for no more than 2 minutes after I’m done writing it and then just schedule it to publish at 12:34 pm today because that’s I’ve always scheduled posts for 12:34 pm on Tuesdays. The 2 minute limit is because if I don’t self-impose a limit then then obsessing never ends, but also because I have to go to work very soon. And then I’m going to publish another one next week Tuesday at 12:34 pm.
Every Tuesday. 12:34 pm. Publish a thing. Maybe writing, maybe a video. Unless I change my mind, then I guess we’ll talk about it.
I spent hours and hours – weeks, maybe months, if I’m totally honest – deciding where to post this – on facebook, on tumblr, on wordpress? My old blog, my current website, or a new blog that I create? What about instagram, my new social media drug of choice? I could just email it out to people who are interested in getting it and skip the publishing it publicly part. And then there’s the what to write part. Ah! It never ends!
Come on, Lauren. The whole point is to post publicly. And to post things that are real, written as if to a new friend.
But…scary! I use this website for professional networking. Talk about terrifying. The little voice in my head (I call her Priscilla, you can look up “lizard brain” + “Seth Godin” if you’re curious) goes “but what if a prospective employer doesn’t hire you because of this?!? What if all your friends hate you? Flood! Fire! Catastrophe!”
Thanks, Priscilla. You’re just trying to save me from the tigers.
But you know what the real tiger is? Giving up what’s important to me for what’s safe. And every time I have a hard conversation and someone says “I needed to hear that” or tells me of one small thing I told them that helped them live better, I know – it’s important to me to share it anyway.
Chill out, Priscilla. You did your job.
So finally the truth comes out. I was just putting off actually publishing anything by having this what/where/how/when debate. Maybe you know this feeling? I have about 2.5 billion ways to force myself out of it. If you want to learn some of them, ask me. You could also subscribe with the reassurance that I’ll talk about them whether you ask or not.
So, I invite you to go on this adventure with me.
I will write about what I care about. The more dear to me, the better. And the harder.
- Organizing dance events.
- Being human.
- How to be excellent to yourself and other people.
- How to make my money work for me instead of me working for money.
- How to make the life I live closer to the life I love (you never arrive, you’re always on the way)
- I’m going to learn about the history of blues music and dancing and while I’m at it probably some pop music too because I like pop music. And finally, 17 years later, I don’t mind saying it out loud.
- Other people’s hobbies and passion projects.
- Whatever else seems fascinating at the time. Because of that darn insatiable curiosity.
I will have to grow a thick skin, because not everyone will like what I write. And that’s fine. I can and will delete those comments =)
If you don’t like personal growth and introspection and hard but empowering truths, you probably want to not click subscribe. If you think stories are a waste of time, you’ll either hate it or you’ll learn something. And in fact, you’re welcome to leave this page right now, or at any time. It’s fine, I don’t mind. It’s not personal. Just like you, I also find there are plenty of humans in the world who I love and respect and don’t want to read their sh*t.
Woo, right in the middle of a positivity challenge. Nice work, Lauren. Oh well. Honesty is important, and I hope you’ll learn to appreciate my sense of humor since we’re here together.
Nobody Wants to Read Your Sh*t is Steven Pressfield’s book and if you don’t get the quote or are offended by it, I gently encourage you to check it out. Also recommend this to any artist trying to get their work out there. For me, personally, it was a little difficult for me to swallow my pride, but it was one the most artistically liberating books I’ve read. If you’re curious, I’ll tell you more later. Just ask.
But if you do like the things on that list, friends who tell it to you straight, stories, dry humor, and insatiable curiosity:
Please do subscribe. There should be a little subscribe button up but I’ll probably have to activate it later because, you know, work.
If you have thoughts, please do share them. You are welcome to do so publicly or privately. I will listen and I will answer, although it might take a few days or even weeks sometimes.
After all, I am insatiably curious, and part of that is knowing what you think when I hit publish.